How to feel more confident in sexy lingerie

Life’s too short not to love every inch of you, but we all have days when we feel less than confident. But did you know that the clothes you wear can actually change the way you feel inside?

Fashion psychologist and author of the book Dress Your Best Life, Dawn Karen, believes we should all “harness the power of clothes” to transform our lives. Talking in the Guardian, she says that ‘mood-enhancement dressing’ is so important, it forms the cornerstone of her therapy.

According to Karen, the clothes we wear each day not only say a lot about how we feel, they can also transform our moods for the better. We change into soft loungewear when we need some comfort, high heels when we want to feel powerful or colourful dresses if we want to cheer ourselves up.

And the most powerful mood enhancer in our wardrobes? Sexy lingerie. They may be just delicate pieces of lace and mesh, but our smalls can make a big difference to our emotional state, allowing us to feel sexy and more confident in the time it takes to put them on.

Want to harness the life-changing magic of sexy lingerie for yourself but not sure where to begin? We asked the women of Pour Moi to share their top tips on how to feel confident in sexy lingerie. With their help (and a little advice from Pour Moi) you’ll soon be ready to slip into something more comfortable...

Find your feel-good fit

No matter how pretty the matching set looks in the picture, what really matters is how it feels on you. You won’t feel fun, fierce or flirty if it gapes, digs in or slips off your shoulders. The discomfort will show in both your face and in the way you carry yourself - not a recipe for supreme confidence.

A good-fitting bra can be a real game-changer when it comes to correcting your posture, while the right size and shape of briefs can enhance your curves in all the right places. Need some expert advice? Why not try our virtual fit service? It’s free and can all be done over a video call (with no need to strip off!).

Need any more encouragement that it’s worth the effort to find your feel-good fit? Here’s what Kalifa from @sharp_clouds has to say about it...

“I feel more confident in sexy lingerie by finding the absolute perfect fit, choosing lingerie that accentuates my curves and compliments my skin tone, while picking styles which make a bold statement!”

Make time for self-care

If you’re always putting yourself last, it’s time to make a change. Ignoring your own well-being isn’t a great strategy because if you don’t take care of you, it’ll diminish the contribution you can make to others.

Self-care is intrinsically linked to our self-esteem. Confident people value themselves just as much as they do others and always take time out to do what makes them feel great. Just ask Ellie from @ellieayles...

“I feel that body confidence is so important for everyone and I do my best to empower other women to feel the same way. For me it is integral to my overall happiness and I work on it a lot. When I look after myself, paint my toes, fuel my body right, move it and dress it in beautiful underwear, I fill my mind and body with confidence. Underwear that is supportive and well-fitting and makes you feel great is one of the best ways to show yourself some love and boost your self-confidence.”

Get to know what feels good on you

Working out the style and cut that suits your shape and keeps you feeling comfortable is the key to finding the kind of lingerie that takes you from ‘afraid to turn the lights on’ to total boudoir glamourpuss.

From knickers with a little frill that makes the most of your hips and booty (like the Amour Shorty) to a plunge push-up for extra oomph up top (like the Romance), who needs the gym? The right lingerie can boost your curves instantly, no squats required! Just have a look at our guide to dressing for your shape to find out more.

Or take a tip from Chantelle @chantelleplusmodel on finding the lingerie that makes you feel sexy and confident...

“Feeling sexy in underwear use to feel like mission impossible - I didn't feel my body looked sexy. For me feeling confident and sexy in underwear starts with great underwear, knowing what compliments your shape. I'm a huge lover of high waisted briefs and lace details. Try sitting in front of the mirror looking at your body, note where your curves are and how the underwear sits on your curves. Get to know your body, what colours compliment your skin. Wear a sexy robe over the top if you're not fully there yet. Please remember sexy is an attitude not a size!”

Wear lingerie for you

Does your other half swoon when you’re wearing the novelty ‘sexy’ undies they bought you on Valentine’s Day, but you hate their scratchy, flimsy feel? Yes it’s nice to please our partners, but not when it comes at the expense of our own comfort and joy.

The number one priority when it comes to sexy lingerie should be how it makes the person that’s wearing it feel! And, chances are, if that gorgeous basque makes you glow with confidence, you’ll both feel the benefit!

Elina from @bellinapeachy has this to say about the importance of undressing to impress - yourself...
“Ladies, we don't have to wear beautiful lingerie for anybody, we should do it for ourselves. Well, sometimes we may dress up to surprise somebody else, but the main focus here should be on our own experience. The idea is not that we have to wear something sexy to be sexy, we are sexy already no matter what! The idea is to explore ourselves by wearing sensual and beautiful pieces. Have you ever thought about how different it feels to wear a classic business suit with heels versus jeans with sneakers? It's not that one is better than another, but it makes you feel like a whole different person. It creates a different energy, a different posture and will make you express yourself differently. The same goes with wearing different lingerie.”

Go matchy-matchy

Trust us. Nothing makes you feel more sexy and confident than wearing a pretty matching set under your clothes.
These days, even T-shirt bras come with a touch of flirtatious lace and matching knickers in a variety of styles, from bikini to brazilian. Just look at the Romance T-shirt Bra with its matching Romance Briefs. Getting a set like this elevates even your everyday underwear into something extra special, helping you feel well-put-together before you’ve even put your clothes on.

And if you’re wearing a skirt or dress, why not consider giving stockings and suspenders a go instead of tights? Not only could a set like the Bling It On Deep Suspender add a touch of glamour to your everyday attire, they can actually be more comfortable than tights when the weather gets warmer. Not convinced? Read our how to wear suspenders’ blog post to find out more.
Here’s how Alice from @aliceiloves uses her lingerie sets to bring out her inner goddess.
“Imagine being a back-up dancer for Beyonce... it's hard to visualise right? Now throw on some sexy lingerie and stockings, and all of a sudden you can strut around your bedroom like you're part of Destiny's Child. For me, sexy lingerie gives me that 'Queen B' feeling, and whether I'm on my own or wearing it for my partner, underwear can remind you of your inner confidence and sass at times when you need that little boost!”

Realise beauty comes from within

Stop obsessing over what you think are flaws, because it’s these so-called imperfections that make you beautiful. Take Sophia Loren. Now 86, the actress is still hailed as one of the world’s great beauties, so it’s hard to believe that at the start of her career she was told she needed cosmetic surgery. “They were saying that my nose was too long and my mouth was too big,” she told The Hollywood Reporter.

Sophia is famous for saying that true beauty comes from the inside. And, despite what the media would have us believe, it has nothing to do with the size of your booty or whether you have a thigh gap (does anyone?). So don’t let anyone ever make you think you’re not perfect, just as you are.

There’s nothing more sexy than someone who realises their own beauty and faces the world with a smile every day. Just ask Georgia @georgia__coombs...

“For me as a girl with a smaller chest I constantly felt like society has influenced me to not feel as confident when it comes to wearing lingerie. But I finally came to realise that self confidence is a state of mind! Beauty is everywhere in every shape and size, so go rock that lingerie and fake it till you make it!”

Ready, set, glow! You’ve got the confidence, now all you need is the lingerie. From beautiful bodies to pretty matching sets, our lingerie edit is here to help you shine like the star you are.
Pour Moi Inspirations